Why Does My Child Hate English?

If your child says they hate English, I know exactly how worrying that feels. You might see them roll their eyes at homework, drag their feet before lessons, or shut down completely whenever English is mentioned. Perhaps they tell you outright, “I hate English,” or maybe it is more subtle, like a sigh, a lack of effort, or a growing disinterest. Either way, it hurts. Because deep down you know how important English is for their future. You know it will open doors at school, at university, and in their career. And yet you cannot seem to get them to care.

But here is the truth. Your child does not actually hate English. What they dislike is the way English has been presented to them.

It is not laziness or lack of talent

One of the biggest myths believed by parents is, “My child just is not good at languages.” Or worse, “My child is lazy.” Both are wrong. I have worked with thousands of children from all over the world, from China and Korea to France and Saudi Arabia, and I can promise you this: every single child can learn English to a high level. Not some children. Not only the so-called gifted ones. Every child.

What often happens is this. A child has one or two negative experiences with English, perhaps they feel embarrassed in class or fall behind in grammar, and suddenly a story builds around them. Teachers might label them as weak. Parents might believe they are not applying themselves. The child starts to believe they are “just not good at it.” Once that belief takes hold, motivation collapses.

It is never about talent. It is about confidence. And when confidence is low, resistance shows up as “I hate English.”

Why children push back against English

Let's be honest. A lot of the way English is taught in schools and tutoring centres is dull, repetitive, and uninspiring. Children are marched through grammar rules, vocabulary lists, and exam drills. Mistakes are highlighted constantly. Progress is measured by test scores. And worst of all, children are constantly compared to one another.

Put yourself in your child’s shoes. Imagine sitting in a class where you barely understand what is going on, where you are terrified of being called on to answer the teacher's question, and where you are always two steps behind. Imagine being told your grade is not good enough, or hearing your parent talk about how well your classmate or sibling is doing. Would you be motivated? Of course not.

Children do not hate English itself. They hate the anxiety, the pressure, and the boredom that has been tied to it. And once they associate English with those negative feelings, their natural curiosity shuts down.

The role of parents in creating resistance

There is another factor that many people overlook, and it is often the most powerful of all: parents themselves. In my years of teaching I have lost count of the number of children who would barely whisper a word of English while their parent was in the room. The moment the parent left, the child would come alive. They would smile, laugh, and speak freely. The transformation was astonishing.

Why does this happen? Because children are terrified of being judged by the people whose approval matters most. When a parent hovers over every lesson, interrupts with corrections, or criticises every mistake, the child feels under constant surveillance. English becomes not just about learning a language but about avoiding shame.

I have worked with parents who whispered answers off-camera, desperate for their child to get everything right. I have seen parents jump in mid-sentence to correct a word before the child even had a chance to think. I have seen parents scold their child in front of me for not remembering a word. Every single one of these situations crushed confidence rather than built it.

The sad irony is that these parents were not trying to hurt their child. They wanted them to succeed. But in their urgency, they created an atmosphere of fear. And children cannot learn when they feel afraid. They cannot take risks, they cannot experiment, and they certainly cannot enjoy English.

This is why one of the most powerful things you can do as a parent is step back. Let your child struggle a little, let them find their words, let them be imperfect. When you give them that space, you will be amazed at how much they can do on their own.

Imagine if English felt different

Now let us flip the picture. What if English was not something to dread, but something that felt like freedom?

Imagine your child choosing a book about their favourite football player, a Minecraft adventure, or space exploration, not because they are told to, but because they actually want to know what happens. Imagine them watching a TV series they love in English, starting with subtitles and eventually realising they do not need them anymore. Imagine them laughing as they make a short video in English, playing it back proudly, and showing it to the family.

This is the shift that makes all the difference. English stops being a subject and becomes a tool. A tool for connection, for entertainment, for creativity. Once your child sees English as something useful and enjoyable, resistance fades away.

I have seen this transformation time and time again. Students who used to groan at the sight of English homework suddenly started showing interest in English books and films. Teenagers who previously showed no interest in English began confidently chatting with me about their favourite games, films, or hobbies, all in English. That is when the real learning begins.

What you can do at home

You do not need to be an English expert to help your child. In fact, some of the most successful students I have taught had parents who could not speak English themselves. What those parents did was far more important. They created the right environment.

Here are some ways you can do that:

• Give them choice: Choice is powerful. If your child picks the book, the YouTube channel, or the video game, they are invested. Even if the content seems silly to you, if it is in English and they are engaged, it is valuable.

• Reward effort, not perfection: If your child tries to speak in English, celebrate it. Smile, encourage, and praise the attempt. Do not jump in with corrections every two seconds, it kills confidence. Mistakes can be discussed later, kindly and without judgement.

• Keep it short and consistent: Ten or fifteen minutes of enjoyable English each day is better than forcing an hour. Daily habits create progress. Long, boring sessions create resentment.

• Bring English into daily life: Switch devices to English settings. Cook from English recipes. Play songs in English during car journeys. These small, natural exposures add up.

• Read together: For younger children, bedtime stories in English are perfect. If you are worried about your own pronunciation, get the audiobook version and read along together. For older children, let them choose their own books, even if they are comics or gaming manuals.

• Manage distractions: Technology can either support learning or sabotage it. Phones should never be in the room during study. Use blockers on laptops and tablets to stop access to games or social media during lessons. You would be amazed how many children I have seen secretly browsing other sites during class, sometimes I can literally see the reflection in their glasses.

  
  

The point here is not to act like a teacher at home. Your role is to set the stage. Give your child the space, the tools, and the encouragement, then let them take ownership.

The ripple effect

Here is what most parents do not realise. When a child gains confidence in English, it does not just improve their grades. It transforms their whole outlook.

I have seen children who were too shy to speak when I first met them, speak to me passionately about their favourite video games. I have seen kids who used to dread English class begin to find joy in learning again. And I have seen families go from nightly homework battles to actually enjoying English together, reading stories, watching films, even joking around in English at the dinner table.

Confidence in English builds confidence everywhere else. It improves school performance, yes, but it also builds resilience, self-esteem, and even the relationship between you and your child. Because when English is no longer a battleground, the tension between you eases. You can finally be a supporter, not a drill sergeant.

Final thought

If your child says they hate English, please do not panic. It does not mean they will never succeed. It does not mean they lack ability. It simply means the way English has been introduced to them has not worked.

Every child is capable of becoming confident in English. Every child can learn to read fluently, write with clarity, and speak with ease. I have seen it happen in students who once sat in silence, refusing to say a word. I have seen it in children who started years behind their peers and ended up thriving.

The key is not more pressure, stricter rules, or longer hours. The key is joy. Once your child enjoys English, everything else follows.

So instead of asking, “How can I make my child study harder?” start asking, “How can I help my child enjoy English more?” Because when they enjoy it, they learn it. And when they learn it, they win.

Take the next step

If you are ready to support your child in a new way, I invite you to sign up for the waitlist for my FREE Ultimate Parent Guide. As soon as it is ready, it will be emailed directly to you. Inside, I share the most powerful insights I have gained from years of teaching thousands of children, listening to their worries, and observing the role parents and families play in their progress. This guide will show you how to reframe your role, create the right environment at home, and truly help your child build confidence and thrive in English.

Join the waitlist today.